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Empowered Women Part 2.

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Catrice suggests that you continue the conversation to summon your own genius. As you move through this process the answers will come. She recommends starting your day off with it or using it any day or time when you feel stuck.

According to Catrice, these are the guiding principles she’s created to facilitate change. They include: take control of your life, dream big, master your mindset and quit living in fear and doubt.
One of my favourite points is the idea of taking control of your life. By that she suggests, you need to own it, embrace it and choose it. When you take responsibility for your life you become the screenwriter, director and producer of your life. WHat that means is, you decide who gets to be in Your movie. Isn’t that fun and liberating? And you can decide “No more, I’m not letting other people choose for me.”

If  you get stuck along the way one of the tools she recommends is conversational journaling. This strategy allows you to access your inner wisdom instead of seeking answers from outside yourself. To get started take out a piece of paper, find a quiet place to be with yourself without the distractions. Two important points to consider, the conversation is going to be between Me and Self. Don’t overanalyze.
Your first line is Me: Dear Self, can I talk with you for a moment?
Next line: Self: I’m always here for you.
Me: I’m feeling stuck right now. I don’t know what to do…

Catrice suggests that you continue the conversation to summon your own genius. As you move through this process the answers will come. She recommends starting your day off with it or using it any day or time when you feel stuck.

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It led me to reflect on the recent changes to the self growth industry. In 2006, Rhonda Byrnes birthed The Secret and the personal development field was changed forever in terms of those bringing us the information.

Suddenly, almost overnight, we were exposed to leaders in the fields of personal growth and self development who reflected us… Here was Loral Langemeier, then a single mother AND business tycoon, and Lisa Nichols, a black woman who talked about how she overcame internalized racism.

Watching The Secret allowed us to ask ourselves some deep questions.

You see, the Secret was the beginning of a New Day, both in media, and more importantly on our planet! Women are coming into their power, and as we do, we lift our families, our communities, and our nations higher!

Think about it: if a society of mothers and grandmothers was running the planet, do you think we may have experienced more peace, prosperity and stability as a group these past few hundred years?

I think so!  Women are nurturers by nature. They build relationships and foster growth and development.

Can you see how women of all nations reclaiming their power is good for the planet?

I think so!

This is a new time for the planet, and it’s a time for women to rise! So whether you are a woman, or you’ve always envisioned a society that allows women to be empowered, NOW IS YOUR TIME~

We’ve got an 11-Woman Empowerment panel covering 11 sessions on 11 different topics. That’s 11 Life Changing Moments!

And we welcome men to get involved. In fact, as a man by participating in this event, you will be opening yourself to a positive future for all of the women in your life, and for yourself.

Now is your chance to advance. And if you join us ,you will look back on this day years later, and be thankful that you made this choice. To rise, stand in your power and to fully step into your greatness!

Register for The EMPOWERED WOMEN TELERETREAT today!http://mpowerurself.com/the-empowered-women-teleretreat-series It runs January 31 to February 9 2011!
Lorna Blake is a thought leader who specializes in empowering women. She has personally interviewed some of the top women leaders in many areas of personal growth and self-development. From financial empowerment and investment, to parenting, health and wellness, relationships to business, personal empowerment and mindset mastery.

She’s  partnered with Catrice Jackson, International Empowerment Speaker, to create a platform, open up a sacred forum and bring  a life-changing series starting January 31, 2011.

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This could have come from parents, grandparents, whomever. Regardless of who it was we believed them. And now we have a voice inside our heads that takes on this person’s words to remind us of our inferiority.

Whether this negative chatter started with your misinterpretations or with someone else’s misguided words you have the ability to recognize that these thoughts are not true. More critically, they do not support your happiness and You have the power to stop your inner critic every time she speaks against you.

This voice may tell you that life isn’t bad if you live it quietly. She may tell you it’s too stressful to try to accomplish great things. Maybe you think your life is okay. But isn’t it true that your life lacks the passion and power you might experience by playing at a higher level? Are you genuinely happy continuing to live a lack-lustre life?

By developing higher self-esteem you can reclaim your greatness and create lots of possibilities for living your best life! Yes, it’s true that you may experience some level of stress by getting out of your comfort zone but there are greater levels of joy and fulfillment awaiting you on the other side.

Here’s an exercise to shift things:

For the next week as you go about your day notice each time your inner critic puts you down and keeps you playing small. Write down each negative thought you have about yourself. Start observing the difference between your inner critic’s voice and your intuition-the voice of wisdom.

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Ellie Drake, the founder of Brave Heart Women, talked about how painful it was for her when she arrived in America (from Iran) and was judged because she had one eyebrow.  All the women including Ellie had a laugh about it but I can imagine the pain of that experience lasting a long time. For some of us it may be traumatic enough to even last a life time.

We need to be careful about stereotyping people based on their differentness from us. Sometimes it’s their skin colour, ability and age. Things aren’t always what they appear to be. People aren’t always who they seem.

Do you remember how Susan Boyle was treated when she first auditioned on “Britain’s Got Talent”? I remember people made the assumption that she couldn’t sing because she didn’t seem to fit the stereotype of what singers look and dress like as in younger, thinner… Many people took one look at her, sized her up and wrote her off thinking that she was really going to make a fool of herself on stage.

And then she opened her mouth singing “I dreamed a dream” and she immediately shut down the naysayers and won the hearts of millions around the world.  I was happy for her from the very beginning because I love to root for the underdog. But that doesn’t mean I’m not critical of others. I’m working on not judging.

How can we move past this issue that robs us of treating people with respect without them having to prove themselves? 

• - Look beyond the outer package: weight, skin colour, clothes, ability, gender, sexual orientation etc.
• - Remember how painful it is or was for you when you are/were judged and show understanding.
• - Accept that underneath it all is a person who needs acceptance just like you.
• - Refuse to participate in conversations that bash people and cut them down.
• - Recognize that when you speak badly of others it reflects badly on you.

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For most of us we wake up in the morning and as we come to awareness we start thinking about what we don’t have, don’t want and can’t get. If we don’t ground ourselves in some rituals we become very stressed out as we go through our day. And we find ourselves reacting to every situation instead of responding.

Ellie Drake, the founder of BraveHeart Women, said if you don’t consciously choose things that make you feel good you’ll unconsciously create feelings that aren’t good like anxiety, frustration, sadness. So choose consciously.

I suggest starting with gratitude. Write down 10 things you’re grateful for in your life. Recognize that you’re important and you deserve to have a great day. Give yourself some “me time”.

Take out a picture that brings back pleasant memories for you and go there in your mind. Yes, experience the feelings of joy, pride, freedom that this picture brings. Project those feelings into your day.

Think of three things that say “I love myself” and do them.

One of the best ways to wake up with a sense of peace is going to bed with a sense of peace. So as you wind down your day, take time to express gratitude for things that went well during your day. Visualize yourself having a good night’s rest and waking up refreshed and rejuvenated. Prayer, meditation or some form of relaxation helps.

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Does that resonate with you? I got goose bumps when I heard it because it made perfect sense to me. Been there and done that.

Anyway Gary Quinn suggests that if you keep holding on to the fear you’ll create exactly the reality that you don’t want.  He recommends bringing yourself into the present moment. And what I got from that was the importance of being present in the right now.

I read Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now” and it’s helped me  become more mindful of the times that I’m not present. Have you ever done an activity and you were so far away in your mind you forgot you had done it? Ever driven and been so preoccupied you went right past where you were supposed to go? That demonstrates you’re someplace else. Come to the present moment. Breathe.

Gary Quinn talks about tapping into the reality of a different future. That you let go of the past and forgive yourself. I’d like to add: forgive those who you feel may have wronged you.

He suggests that you create a statement that makes you feel great. I recommend using these present tense statements to develop a blueprint for what you want.

To do this look at your life and get clear on what you want. Plan for what you want instead of what you don’t want.

Experience the feeling of what you want and live in that feeling all the time.

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Even though I had never encountered a ‘ratbat’ it made me smile immediately to know that my smile was so powerful… I have taken this lesson to heart and have never forgotten these words. I smile regularly and teach others to do the same.

I have traveled to countries in Asia where I was told people don’t normally interact with ‘foreigners’. Yet I made friends simply by walking down the street wearing a smile on my face.

Several of my Asian friends later told me they had never approached a westerner on the street before meeting me. They felt intimidated to do so but somehow I seemed friendly because of my smile. And my smile put them at ease.

As a  former teacher to International students I often heard from my students that my smile made them feel comfortable. But the secret I never shared with them that I’m sharing with you is I came to learn that my smile makes me better looking. 

Here’s a secret for women: if you wear a smile more often you may find you don’t need as much make-up. You may even appear younger than your age. How is that for a fountain of youth tip?

Here are some exercises to get you smiling…

-Before you get out of bed in the morning visualize a pleasant memory.

Hold something in your mind that puts a smile on your face. Keep that memory in front of you as you go through your day.

-Make eye contact with yourself in the mirror then smile. Smile at yourself in the mirror every chance you get. Smile with people you never smiled at before. Smile with those you interact with in your daily encounters.

-If visualizing doesn’t work for you, place a picture of something fun on your night table. In the morning, as you prepare to get out of bed to start your day take a look at that picture and smile.

- Keep a picture that holds fond memories in your wallet and at

intervals during your day take it out, look at it and smile.

Try these exercise every day for at least 90 days! Observe the difference they make to your life.

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It doesn’t mean that we never complained but whenever we did the elders would remind us to snap out of it with this proverb. Otherwise we were creating more difficulties for ourselves. And we quickly learned from this wise saying. I know I certainly did.

There’s a story about an enchanted forest and the animals around it. A wise old owl stood as the gatekeeper to this forest. It was a place that many animals dreamed of.

It was magical and beautiful with lots of water, thick lush foliage. Word had spread through the animal kingdom that life was beautiful for the animals who lived there. What they didn’t know was the password to get into this forest.

Each animal that came was asked: What was it like where you came from?” If the animal answered: “It was terrible.” The owl would say: “It’s the same here. Terrible place, the animals are unkind to each other, there’s very little food and water. You’d better go back to your old forest.” And the owl wouldn’t let them in.

If the animal answered: “The forest where I lived was a beautiful place…” The wise old owl would answer: “Well you’re going to like it here. That’s exactly what it’s like in this forest. Would you like to enter?”

What’s the difference? Attitude. This story reminds us that when we complain about a situation we get locked into that very situation by our own words. In the same way when we appreciate our situation, we get a better one.

1. Every morning when you awake, before you go rushing off into the day, take a few minutes to think about what’s good in your life e.g. your health, the people you love, people who love you etc.

2. Every day find something and or things to be grateful for. Feeling gratitude lifts your spirits.

3. Express appreciation to those close to you. Notice when they do something right and tell them about it. You will feel better about yourself too!

4. End your day reflecting on all that’s good in your life. It’ll help you sleep better and give you peaceful feelings.

Try these exercises for the next 90 days.

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When we are passive in dealing with conflict we may feel powerless to change what we consider a ‘hostile dynamic’ so we react by withdrawing, retreating or hiding. This often results in blocks to communication. On the other side of the spectrum by acting aggressively to address conflict we react in a way that’s scary and intimidating to others. As a result we stand to alienate the people we’re interacting with.

One of the most empowering ways I know to communicate around conflict is by using assertive behaviors. Using assertive strategies allows us to respond rather than react and we build mutual respect and intimacy rather than alienation.

Becoming assertive requires a very conscious shift in our mindset. We must first recognize that we have rights. This is fundamental to changing unhealthy relationship dynamics and will allow us to gain the respect we desire in our relationships.

 1. Recognize your rights. You have the right to:

*Be treated with respect

*Express your own opinion, feelings, thoughts

*Say no

*Decide for yourself what you want

*Make mistakes

*Be yourself

2. Assess what’s happening. Determine how to respond assertively rather than react to the situation. Whenever possible take a deep breath, think about what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it. Where possible, write down what you’re planning to say and practice. It’s best to discuss the issue with the other person when you’re calm and in control of your emotions.

3. Express how you feel using “I statements”. Take responsibility for your own feelings. For example, “I feel upset when you shout at me.”

4. Focus on future action instead of on the situation that just occurred. For example, “In future I would like you to speak to me in a calm voice.”

5. If you feel you’re still not being heard, you may try the technique of ‘escalating’.

Use your hand like a stop sign, stand in your power and in a firm voice say: “I would like you to stop…” Pause for effect.

-If you’re still not being heard say something like: “I have asked you to stop and it seems you’re not listening. If you choose to continue I’m going to be forced to ….” (leave the room, stop communicating with you until you are willing to be respectful, etc). Choose an action that makes sense in the situation and follow through with what you say you’re going to do if you’re not being heard.

6. Seek Respect. Your goal is not to be liked. It’s to be respected. Once you understand this you can begin to express your feelings and open the lines of communication with people you interact with. This creates greater intimacy and mutual respect in your relationships…

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