It’s remarkable because I’m the kind of person who, seventy five percent of the time, I don’t remember what I dreamed. The other twenty five percent of the time I remember, but I don’t understand the meaning of what I dreamed. But not this time. This dream was clear as crystal.

I woke up this morning, went to the bathroom and it came back to me. Not only did I remember it. I knew what it represented.

My father was there. It’s like I found myself in the same room with my father but I had three flies stuck in my throat literally. Gross, huh?

So the whole time I was with him I was trying to gag to get rid of the flies. I eventually cleared two of them by putting my finger down my throat but one of them stayed stuck in my throat.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici www.freedigitalphotos.net

Kind of creepy, isn’t it? But you know what. As soon as I woke up, the dream came back to me  and I knew what it meant.

If you know my story you know I’ve got father issues. Yes, I’m acknowledging it. We all got issues.

You see, I was abandoned by my father even before I was born. He told my pregnant mother to leave him out of it. And his parents did their part to distance him and their family from ‘the situation’ early on. They maintained that stance throughout my childhood and adulthood. In other words, my father still hasn’t acknowledged or accepted me as his child.

I’m not telling a victim story here and I’m not asking anyone to feel sorry for me. I’m simply acknowledging what’s been my lived experience. There’s a pain that comes from being rejected early in life that leaves a big wound. It’s not about having an unforgiving heart either. I’ve already forgiven him and his family multiple times over the years.

It’s about recognizing that at the core of my sense of identity is this script that says: “I am not seen, heard and acknowledged for who I am. Something’s wrong with me.”

This program running in the wounded part of me, my three year old self, has been impacting the way I show up in the world whether I know it or not.

I was listening to Katherine Woodward and Claire Zammit speak about Feminine Power. One of the points they covered was that most of us know what our issues are yet we’re still having the experience of repeating these disempowering patterns.

What they’ve identified in their work with women is that if we learn to connect with the deepest part of ourselves and start to mentor that little wounded part, which is at the core of our sense of identity, we can break the cycle at the very root.

Claire talked about having at the core of her sense of identity, this invisible self where she was not seen and not known. She was outside looking in, waiting to be seen and discovered.

Over the years I’ve worked through the pain and developed myself to be seen, heard and acknowledged for who I am. And I’ve had had some impact.

However what this dream last night brought to my conscious awareness is that I’ve cleared some of the blocks to being seen, heard and acknowledged for my gifts but there’s still a block. According to the dream, I’m two-thirds of the way cleared.

It’s a great place to be and I celebrate it. I’ve positioned myself as a champion for women who deal with similar issues. As long as I’m a couple of steps ahead I can help and I have already helped many women.

So I’m going to continue my personal development work to clear this block so I can show up fully and have the impact I know in my heart I’m here to have.

What are your thoughts? Do you know anyone with some similar issues who seems to be doing the work but not having full impact in their lives?

Do you have similar issues and find yourself frustrated that you’re somehow not having the impact you want to have in your life, your relationships, your career, your world?

I’d love to hear from you. Please feel free to leave a comment.

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It’s a wonderful thing. But those differences can be a tremendous source of conflict. They can cause arguments and communication glitches in the home, workplace, and in every relationship in your life. Why? Because we haven’t been taught to respect.

What is respect and why should you care?
Respect allows us to authentically communicate our truth while appreciating other people’s differences. This opens up the space for us to mutually trust, live and work together.

But here’s something that undermines respect.

Judgment.
It is difficult to respect someone when we’re judging them. Judgment belittles another person’s gifts, opinions or perspectives. If you find yourself unwilling to listen, being critical, and or always wanting to have the last word, check yourself. You may be coming from a place of judgment.

So how can we promote mutual respect?

1. Appreciation. Appreciation is a first cousin of respect. It’s what inspires each of us to be the best we can be. All of could use some appreciation. We get so little of it, most of us crave it. And here’s the kicker. It’s possible to find something to appreciate in another despite disagreeing with them or having differences of opinion. And when we express appreciation for them, they’re much more open to what we have to say. Appreciation helps promote respect.

2. Authenticity. Being authentic is about being real with another. It’s about being courageous enough to tell someone what you really feel without cussing them out. Or the other extreme which is punishing them by shutting down and saying nothing, pretending everything is okay when you know in your heart something’s wrong and you’ve got something to say.

3. Think win-win. It means recognizing that others are okay just like you’re okay. It means you’re not better than the other person and the other person isn’t better than you. You are equals. It means honoring others for who they are and recognizing yourself as special too.

So here’s the bottom line: Every person you encounter is unique. We all have different stories, different feelings and different ways of seeing things. Each person in your family, your office, your faith community, your circle of friendship, your community is different. There’s nothing wrong with that.
What’s wrong is you seeing them as the enemy and yourself as the victim.

That’s why it’s so important to learn how to communicate so you build mutual respect, authentically express yourself and open the lines of communication.

We all need each other and we can all learn from each other. When we build mutual respect we can work together and create win-win solutions in the home, workplace, faith communities and in all our relationships.

Respect is not about manipulating another or kissing their you-know-what to get what you want. Some people believe that the only way to ‘get along’ with others is to be insincere, manipulative and tell people what they want to hear.

This is problematic and can lead to resentment, gossip and insincerity in relationships.

On the contrary, we can have deeper, stronger, more meaningful relationships if we learn to respect differences and communicate from a place of appreciation, authenticity, non-judgment and mutual benefit.

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Everywhere you turn these days someone’s talking about spring cleaning.

I support the view that a yearly purging of stuff is important and necessary. 

But today’s feature is about the weekly routine cleaning tasks that we take on around the home. On top of all the other important responsibilities we have.

Each of us has an aspect of cleaning that we just don't like. Do you know what yours is? 

For me, it's cleaning the toilet. Never have liked it.

Probably never will. 

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What if it’s really possible for you to have a different life? What if you really can go places, do the things, have the fun your heart desires? Are you willing to decide? Your decision is what will make the difference.

You have the chance to get that promotion you desire! You can start a business and grow it! You can have better health! This is your year to make more money! It’s your year to travel to your dream vacation spots!

First: identify what you want to achieve in 2012! What are three things that you really want to achieve this year? I don’t mean something that other people want you to have… I mean what are some things that will put a smile on your face and a light in your heart, if come the end of 2012 you have achieved them? What are some things you’re passionate about achieving?

Next: Make the decision that you’re going to have it. If it’s a promotion, decide that the promotion is yours! If it’s a business or better health or more money or travel, decide… I don’t care what the reality is right now in your life. Make a decision to have what you say you want to have.

Third: Take action to have what you want. Regardless of what the goal is recognize the need for support. If it’s a promotion, who do you need to talk to? What course do you need to take? What group do you need to join? What kind of employee do you need to be? Can you use the help of a coach or mentor?

Four: Do something different this year! Reach out to a group or expert who can help you make it happen. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, which is to go it alone, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always had which is disappointment at the end of the year. Realize that the most successful people have a support team. Get support!

I desire for you that you have the life of your dreams in 2012! Do you really, really want it? Make a decision. Go for it! I know you can do it!

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Do You Need Strategies to Cope with the Daily Grind?

Could Your Relationships Be Enhanced?

Want to Learn to Not Only Survive but Thrive after Tragedy?

Join us February 7 to 9! It will Change Your Life!

Empowered Women Part 2.

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Catrice suggests that you continue the conversation to summon your own genius. As you move through this process the answers will come. She recommends starting your day off with it or using it any day or time when you feel stuck.

According to Catrice, these are the guiding principles she’s created to facilitate change. They include: take control of your life, dream big, master your mindset and quit living in fear and doubt.
One of my favourite points is the idea of taking control of your life. By that she suggests, you need to own it, embrace it and choose it. When you take responsibility for your life you become the screenwriter, director and producer of your life. WHat that means is, you decide who gets to be in Your movie. Isn’t that fun and liberating? And you can decide “No more, I’m not letting other people choose for me.”

If  you get stuck along the way one of the tools she recommends is conversational journaling. This strategy allows you to access your inner wisdom instead of seeking answers from outside yourself. To get started take out a piece of paper, find a quiet place to be with yourself without the distractions. Two important points to consider, the conversation is going to be between Me and Self. Don’t overanalyze.
Your first line is Me: Dear Self, can I talk with you for a moment?
Next line: Self: I’m always here for you.
Me: I’m feeling stuck right now. I don’t know what to do…

Catrice suggests that you continue the conversation to summon your own genius. As you move through this process the answers will come. She recommends starting your day off with it or using it any day or time when you feel stuck.

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It led me to reflect on the recent changes to the self growth industry. In 2006, Rhonda Byrnes birthed The Secret and the personal development field was changed forever in terms of those bringing us the information.

Suddenly, almost overnight, we were exposed to leaders in the fields of personal growth and self development who reflected us… Here was Loral Langemeier, then a single mother AND business tycoon, and Lisa Nichols, a black woman who talked about how she overcame internalized racism.

Watching The Secret allowed us to ask ourselves some deep questions.

You see, the Secret was the beginning of a New Day, both in media, and more importantly on our planet! Women are coming into their power, and as we do, we lift our families, our communities, and our nations higher!

Think about it: if a society of mothers and grandmothers was running the planet, do you think we may have experienced more peace, prosperity and stability as a group these past few hundred years?

I think so!  Women are nurturers by nature. They build relationships and foster growth and development.

Can you see how women of all nations reclaiming their power is good for the planet?

I think so!

This is a new time for the planet, and it’s a time for women to rise! So whether you are a woman, or you’ve always envisioned a society that allows women to be empowered, NOW IS YOUR TIME~

We’ve got an 11-Woman Empowerment panel covering 11 sessions on 11 different topics. That’s 11 Life Changing Moments!

And we welcome men to get involved. In fact, as a man by participating in this event, you will be opening yourself to a positive future for all of the women in your life, and for yourself.

Now is your chance to advance. And if you join us ,you will look back on this day years later, and be thankful that you made this choice. To rise, stand in your power and to fully step into your greatness!

Register for The EMPOWERED WOMEN TELERETREAT today!http://mpowerurself.com/the-empowered-women-teleretreat-series It runs January 31 to February 9 2011!
Lorna Blake is a thought leader who specializes in empowering women. She has personally interviewed some of the top women leaders in many areas of personal growth and self-development. From financial empowerment and investment, to parenting, health and wellness, relationships to business, personal empowerment and mindset mastery.

She’s  partnered with Catrice Jackson, International Empowerment Speaker, to create a platform, open up a sacred forum and bring  a life-changing series starting January 31, 2011.

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You need it. I need it. We all need it: Support. Encouragement. Reassurance. Get everything you need in one telesummit.

Join me for an international telesummit with 10 of the most empowering women in the world. Topics will include, “How to Position Yourself as an Expert,” “Fun as a Spiritual Practice,” “Empowerment Through Self-Discovery,” “How to Communicate for Success in All Your Relationships,” and “How to Parent Your Child/Children to Greatness in Just Five Minutes a Day!”

Expert panel includes internationally recognized business and life coaches, motivational speakers, educators, entrepreneurs, business owners, humanitarians and even a New York Times best-selling author.

This is a can’t miss opportunity. Hear how life-changing decisions move others to incredible levels of success and from feeling like victims to finding their voice.

Telesummit runs from June 22 – 30, 2010. See a complete schedule here.

Register now!

Be empowered today. Don’t wait.

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This could have come from parents, grandparents, whomever. Regardless of who it was we believed them. And now we have a voice inside our heads that takes on this person’s words to remind us of our inferiority.

Whether this negative chatter started with your misinterpretations or with someone else’s misguided words you have the ability to recognize that these thoughts are not true. More critically, they do not support your happiness and You have the power to stop your inner critic every time she speaks against you.

This voice may tell you that life isn’t bad if you live it quietly. She may tell you it’s too stressful to try to accomplish great things. Maybe you think your life is okay. But isn’t it true that your life lacks the passion and power you might experience by playing at a higher level? Are you genuinely happy continuing to live a lack-lustre life?

By developing higher self-esteem you can reclaim your greatness and create lots of possibilities for living your best life! Yes, it’s true that you may experience some level of stress by getting out of your comfort zone but there are greater levels of joy and fulfillment awaiting you on the other side.

Here’s an exercise to shift things:

For the next week as you go about your day notice each time your inner critic puts you down and keeps you playing small. Write down each negative thought you have about yourself. Start observing the difference between your inner critic’s voice and your intuition-the voice of wisdom.

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Ellie Drake, the founder of Brave Heart Women, talked about how painful it was for her when she arrived in America (from Iran) and was judged because she had one eyebrow.  All the women including Ellie had a laugh about it but I can imagine the pain of that experience lasting a long time. For some of us it may be traumatic enough to even last a life time.

We need to be careful about stereotyping people based on their differentness from us. Sometimes it’s their skin colour, ability and age. Things aren’t always what they appear to be. People aren’t always who they seem.

Do you remember how Susan Boyle was treated when she first auditioned on “Britain’s Got Talent”? I remember people made the assumption that she couldn’t sing because she didn’t seem to fit the stereotype of what singers look and dress like as in younger, thinner… Many people took one look at her, sized her up and wrote her off thinking that she was really going to make a fool of herself on stage.

And then she opened her mouth singing “I dreamed a dream” and she immediately shut down the naysayers and won the hearts of millions around the world.  I was happy for her from the very beginning because I love to root for the underdog. But that doesn’t mean I’m not critical of others. I’m working on not judging.

How can we move past this issue that robs us of treating people with respect without them having to prove themselves? 

• - Look beyond the outer package: weight, skin colour, clothes, ability, gender, sexual orientation etc.
• - Remember how painful it is or was for you when you are/were judged and show understanding.
• - Accept that underneath it all is a person who needs acceptance just like you.
• - Refuse to participate in conversations that bash people and cut them down.
• - Recognize that when you speak badly of others it reflects badly on you.

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